Guide to Personals
& Dating Sites
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Writing a Profile

Writing a positive profile for positive results!

When you sign up on a dating site you will be asked to fill out a profile
section.  These come in a variety of forms.  Some of the simpler sites
will have a simgle section.  Others will break it down into sections.
Regardless of how the site is organized, there are some simple rules
for a successful and expressive profile that will help get results.

Never put down the opposite sex:

Who wants a bitter woman or an angry man? Someone who uses a personal ad to attack the character of an entire sex is simply advertising future failure. Don't ever forget that your ad reveals what you're like to be with. So phrases such as "unlike most men..." or "a woman who is not bitter..." are out.

Project a positive attitude:

When writing a personal ad, write what you want in a partner, rather than what you are don’t want. When people say they are "tired of the bar scene" or request "no losers" they are revealing a experiences of being disappointed. Attraction works much better than avoidance.

Be realistic in your goals:

The purpose of a personals profile is to attract the maximum number of responses that are compatible with what you seek. You have to attract a number of responses so you have choices. How you represent yourself is directly related to what you attract. Remember, you are not looking for marriage proposals here.

Use your sense of humor:

Fun should be part of your plan for dating or mating. Find some way to show that in a way that everyone will “get” and avoid offending humor.

Put some thought and time into it:

Write a profile off line and then set it aside.  Giving it sometime to “mellow” will allow you to go back and review, rewrite, add to, and improve it.  You often have only one chance to get someone’s attention so you want to be as complete and expressive as possible. One possible idea is to get a close friend to write a sample profile for you (yes...profiles are personal descriptions, but a close friend might have some unique and exciting observations!).

Don’t mention past relationships:

Your new potential does not care about your past relationships…yet!  You want to concentrate on the future and the opportunities you offer to a new partner. This does not include a divorce.  It is honest to mention it but keep the circumstances for a later time. 

CHECK SPELLING and punctuation:

Not everyone is good at spelling or correct punctuation but obvious errors turn off potential partners.  This is another good reason to write a profile offline and let your word processing program spell check help you.  This is something that cannot be over emphasized!  Spelling counts!

Avoid abbreviations:

Cute abbreviations that work well in text messaging do not come across well in a profile.  While SWM or SWF are pretty standardized others such as using the number 2 instead of to or too comes across as lazy and low class. "text speak" is out too.  It just makes you come across as immature. Spelling everything out shows you gave a lot of thought to what you have to say. 

Above all...BE HONEST:

Lies will only sink you in the end.  It is also easier to remember the truth than a lie.  Every lie will eventually come out and it will probably ruin any trust a relationship is developing. We all have negative things in our lives so the best approach is to emphasize what positive things we bring to the table and let the negative things come out in due time.

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